Breaking Free from Emotional Spending: Practical Tips to Manage Your Money

Have you ever clicked “buy” after a hard day, thinking you’d feel better? You’re not alone. Emotional spending, or emotional shopping, is common. In a 2023 study by Lending Tree, nearly 70% of Americans admit that emotions influence their spending habits, triggered by stress, boredom and even happiness.

However, while a surprise purchase may feel good in the moment, relief rarely lasts. Emotional purchases can lead to regret, financial stress and debt. The good news? Recognizing what drives this habit and taking small steps to change can help you regain control over your finances and feel more confident about your spending.

Why emotional spending happens

If you’ve been an emotional shopper, you probably wonder, “Why does shopping make me feel better?” Emotional spending comes from the brain’s natural response to stress, excitement or other intense emotions. When you shop (or even think about shopping), your brain releases dopamine, a feel-good chemical that creates a temporary sense of relief or happiness. 

This reaction makes emotional shopping feel rewarding in the moment. Research highlights the common triggers people cite for emotional purchases:

• Happiness
• Boredom
• Depression

For many, shopping becomes a way to cope with the stress of a demanding job, sadness over a breakup or even the excitement of a major life milestone. Younger generations like Gen Z are particularly affected by it. 

The costs of being an emotional shopper

Small purchases may seem harmless, but over time they can add up. And for many, emotional spending can lead to real financial and emotional consequences.

Over 75% of emotional spenders admit to overspending, and nearly 40% have gone into debt because of it. Credit cards and Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) online shopping tools that make it easier to spend don’t help. Almost 50% of Gen Z planned to use BDPL for holiday shopping in 2022, compared to just 14% of baby boomers, yet more than half have missed at least one BNPL payment.

There are also emotional costs. Overspending can feel overwhelming. While these purchases may give a temporary emotional boost, they can lead to regret, creating a vicious cycle that’s hard to break—especially when making a purchase is as easy as tapping a button on the checkout screen.

The link between money and emotions highlights how financial stress can take a toll on mental health. Awareness of how these emotions impact your wallet and mental well-being can help you start making better choices with spending.

How to stop retail therapy

Changing your emotional spending habits isn’t just about cutting out all shopping—it’s about learning to shop more intentionally.

These strategies can help:

 1. Identify your triggers

Understanding what drives your purchases is the first step. Consider keeping a journal or using a budgeting app to track your spending habits along with your emotions. Write down what you bought, how you felt before and after, and what triggered the purchase.

For example, you may notice a pattern of shopping online after stressful meetings or opening your shopping apps when bored. Recognizing these patterns can help you address some of the root causes of your spending and stop yourself from shopping.

2. Practice the Hour Spending Rule

Impulse buying is one of the most common forms of emotional spending. One approach to try is pausing before buying. A simple way to start is with the Hour Spending Rule. Wait at least one hour before making an unplanned purchase. For larger purchases, try extending the time to 24 hours.

Before buying, ask yourself a few questions:

• Is this purchase essential?
• How does it fit into my budget?
• Am I shopping because of how I feel right now?

This pause helps create space to evaluate whether the item is a want or a need. You may find that after waiting, your need to buy fades completely. And as you get better at it, extend the pause to a few days or week at a time for nonessential items.

3. Set spending boundaries

Building a budget that allows for some discretionary spending can help you enjoy occasional splurges without losing control. Think about creating a fun money budget. Set aside a small percentage of your monthly income to use guilt-free. This helps you treat yourself without seriously impacting your financial goals.

If you’re not sure where to start, budgeting apps can help track your spending and notify you when you’re approaching your limits. Once you have a better understanding of your spending habits, you can make adjustments that help you still enjoy shopping without going overboard.

4. Reduce temptations

Marketers and online retailers design strategies to target emotional shoppers. From promotional emails to flash sales, these triggers encourage impulse buying. Consider ways to avoid these temptations. Unsubscribe from sale alerts, turn off shopping app notifications or delete these apps altogether.

You may also want to set boundaries around shopping:

• Set specific days for browsing online stores.
• Avoid shopping when you’re feeling emotional or tired.
• Use cash instead of credit cards for in-store purchases.

Small adjustments can make a big difference. And if you’ve been working on improving your budgeting, this is another approach to help you meet your long-term financial goals.

5. Focus on financial goals

Setting a clear purpose for your money can also help you break your retail therapy habits. When you have something you’re saving for—like a vacation, paying off debt or building an emergency fund—you may think twice before buying things you don’t really need.

Try using a visual tracker, like a savings chart, or set up automatic transfers to your savings account. Seeing your progress can help keep you motivated and remind you why skipping some of these unnecessary purchases is worth it.

6. Find healthy alternatives

Shopping is a way to manage emotions. But instead of turning to retail therapy, try replacing it with activities that help you feel better—without potential financial consequences.

Here are a few alternatives:

• Stress: Practice yoga, take a walk, try a guided meditation app.
• Boredom: Start a new hobby, watch a favorite show or movie, dive into a good book.
• Loneliness: Call a friend, join a social group, spend time volunteering.

It may take some practice, but having a few go-to mood-boosting activities can make it easier to resist emotional shopping and replace it with new habits.

Regain control of your spending

Money and emotions are deeply connected, but it doesn’t have to define your financial future. Identifying your triggers, creating intentional habits and focusing on your long-term goals can help you change your habits.

Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. Even small changes can make a big difference over time. Taking these steps today can help you feel more in control tomorrow.